Friday, July 31, 2009
so fierce, so pretty.
courtesy of designer ben amun. yum.so needs to be ON my neck & wrists.
spikes are killing it.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
1 more
i like to mix my metaphors.
(no title)
a train of yellow bubblesline the floor and
shine on my feet
from over there
shadows and silhouettes
wax and wane
low rhythms
medium pitch
with attitude
or teen angst
take your pick
nobody's velvet melody
is sanctioned
to feel soft here
mold an edge
hard and dark
hold it in place
to rush wood fibers
lost in lilting notes
old journal entries
from times long since passed. & fah-reakin emo. wtf. but something weird & retrospective-esque in me had to type it out.
eh. there it is...
(no title)
white ocean mists filming a scrim my hand passes through.
two planes soft & bottomless -
the ever-thinning shaft of blue now a sliver, now a memory.
until we rise again.
the soft ceiling dissipating into cyan.
my resolve hits and becomes stone.
immovable still transparent.
it must remain.
a ripple.
white foamy tide, some wisp of a 30,000 foot wave not breaking.
the surface i fall through, my mind.
carry my heart above give me the blue the spy in that gold haze blinding me.
a dark green spot the shape of everything everywhere my eyes search.
what's below is churning all on the path to my home...
but for that streak in the distance a comet of mere human proportions but a comet all the same & i'll take it.
what is this landscape now.
the soft sea has passed.
full of canyons & crevices.
a place for me to hide.
the buoy to hold me afloat.
an eternity i can see.
the reflection of which i cannot touch.
1 & a half hours
(into the morning)
the light outside
so clear it cuts
my sight
meandering thoughts
stick on nothing
in particular
but a door some
random objects
displaced in the light
dreams in anime
waking mind
still soft
1 & a half hours
the morning
a question mark lost
in a red plastic song
(no title)
never wipe red off the blade
the execution of words in
my head thrashes to flight
of the angry bumble bees and
a brash trumpet solo
today is a low flying object
a cartoon while
the sun gets high slicing
the blue battle cry
screaming morning
synapses a warrior
woman army waging war
on my weak blood
(no title)
what madness is this
that closes a fist
on the fleeting serenity
the glare of the screen
smirks at me
i need a life-mute button.
i already wrote that on twitter the other day.
just bears repeating.
like. every-fucking-where.
(i dislike profusely the mean reds)
incredibly flawed but incredibly wise.
saw this on a blog i simultaneously love & hate.
What is your idea of perfect happiness? "perfection" by nature, is unattainable. i guess happiness, for me, comes most in the small things: embraces, shared moments or laughter from/with friends. a stolen sunrise. when it gets to the larger sense: condition-less love. hence, unattainable.
What is your greatest fear? never being able to completely let go or trust. failing myself or the people i love.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? lack of judgment.
What is the trait you most deplore in others? propensity for lies.
What is your greatest extravagance? non-$: usually staying out & pushing well past what my bod/brain can handle but feeling fabulous/dancing until i drop. $: the lake como trip for francesca's wedding last year. worth every penny.
What is your current state of mind? mean reds. trying to work through it...
On what occasion do you lie? i fucking HATE lies. and liars. yes, of course, i've withheld info here & there but it makes my skin crawl & i start to manifest physical ailments b/c of it.
What do you dislike most about your appearance? right now, aging has messed w/ my self perception. i've always (since i was 16 & my mother's mother told me i needed to get it done) disliked my nose. & the damn thing seems to be getting bigger, longer... ugh. what else? these new wrinkles are taking some adjusting to. & i'm getting a little thick/soft around the middle, which is tough! i know. i know. vanity is a joke. it's also a reality.
Which living person do you most despise? anyone against equal/civil rights. & "voldemort".
What is the quality you most like in a man? would he make a great gay husband? insert smiley face here.
What is the quality you most like in a woman? honesty, light shining from within, sincerity, & in friends, especially: sisterhood.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse? "bananas", "o.m.g.", "shut UP", "fuck", "like".
Which talent would you most like to have? to heal.
What do you consider your greatest achievement? staying true to myself in spite of a gad-load of obstacles.
If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be? i've only known this life. & i've kicked some serious ass. but that said, maybe i'd come back & have less fear than i did so long ago & take bigger/smarter risks. yeah. on the return, i'd kick more ass as me.
Where would you like to live? nyc still has my heart but paris has some draw. as does mexico.
What is your most treasured possession? my fucking soul.
What do you most value in your friends? the bright light! love, heart, strength, honesty, loyalty
Who are your favorite writers? junot diaz, salman rushdie, jeanette winterson, paulo coelho... plus, some my friends write mad cool shit. (& me, when i'm on.)
Who is your favorite hero of fiction? i tend to be more down with the anti-hero.
Which historical figure do you most identify with? lee krasner. or lee miller.
What is it that you most dislike? malice or cruelty. lies.
What is your motto? stop thinking about the destination & start thinking about the journey. my dad said that. & he was an incredibly flawed but incredibly wise & wonderful man. i like to think i have some of him within me...
xoxo
yeah
i haven't blogged in a while. fuck off. i mean that in a nice way. wanted to. started. my heart wasn't in it. felt forced. stopped. walked away. i felt conscious of new eyes. welcome. but new. it scared me. now i have to be deep? i'm not that deep. mostly i'm just tired. weird tired disease. too much. so no words. my camera = my words. my words = blank. bleah. blech. boring. spaces. so... here i am again. eek.
yeah.
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